I hate my life

I hate my life right now.

Actually it’s more of that I hate the responsibilities that are pushed into my life because of our consequences. It seems I’m feeling this way because I have that sense of entitlement that I don’t deserve this and such. Bull.

I’m not enthusiastic of the Filipino culture wherein you have to take care of your parents. I love to. But I don’t want to feel responsible for their lifestyle. In my situation, it’s like I will not have a life until my parents’ are done.

It’s not a sin to be born into a poor family but when you stay poor even though you have the potential to live a better life, then that’s a very big problem. I will only blame myself.

I’m confused on what to do because I keep considering what my parents would feel. To me it’s black and white. But to a lot of people, I have to dwell into the grey areas as well. I want to help my family but I don’t want to feel that I am responsible of them. They are already adults. If they don’t want to help themselves, why do I get punish?

Why is it that I do my best to be financially stable but my family will find ways to keep me in debt? Why can’t they just live within their means? Why do they have to boast that they have money but it’s actually to my expense?

I have my goals and dreams too. I don’t want to be stuck here forever that I will resent my family for all the missed opportunities that I should have had.

I hate myself for writing this instead of studying for my future.

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So, what do you think?

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