Author Archives: penpapio

Protected: Trapped in my own lacunae

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Drafts and Dreams

It’s September 2017 and I’m rewriting, rescheduling and re-planning most of my career’s short term goals. Mistakes and delays are acceptable since I have time allowances for those but I am appalled that I am indifferent with such. A classmate of mine told me before that you have to know what you really want and focus on it to get to the end. Because if you do not know what you want, it is very difficult to reach the end. Maybe this is the reason for my procrastination? Am I pursuing something I do not truly desire? I believe this is what I need and want. But I cannot feel it in my heart. I keep planning about this but I do not have the passion to push through. And that is why I’m like this.

Deep inside, there is one thing I hope to have. It is not about my career, health or family. It’s about holding a hand for just a moment and then I am happy. Just the thought of it makes me teary eyes right now. I cannot explain the fulfillment that I will get from it but I do understand that my mind and body will subconsciously do anything to feel that again.

Going back to reality, I need to revisit my excels and drafts and set aside my dreams. The former has a higher probability of happening in this lifetime anyway.

Hold hands

Loveliest letter from Her (2013)

I’m introducing myself to Joaquin Phoenix because every review I go, he is always praised. Thus, I first watched Her (2013) yesterday.

What do I recall about the movie? Basically it’s about relationships but this time intuitive Operating Systems (OS) take part in the relationship. I was curious with:
1 if you have a relationship with an OS/ artificial intelligence, is it real?
2 will it be like a human relationship?
3 is it also bounded by unwritten rules of faithfulness and monogamy?
4 will it survive even without physical presence?

These are the kinds of movies I try to avoid because these bore me. Same reason I haven’t watched the Before Sunset series. But since I’m a fan of Annie Hall, I continued watching Her after 10 minutes.

What saved the movie in my eyes? Acting skills of Joaquin Phoenix (Theodore) and Rooney Mara (Catherine). I appreciate Amy Adams (Amy) as well. My favorite parts are the signing of divorce papers scene (specifically after Catherine signed the document and finished with the flashbacks; her facial reaction was very natural) and the almost break up conversation with Theodore and OS Samantha (after an argument, Theodore and Samantha talked and Samantha said that she now knows why she loves Theodore and Theodore’s face gradually lightened up). There are so many small reactions from Phoenix and Mara that makes everything relatable.

At the end, it was not a waste of my time (thanks to Phoenix, Mara and Adams and well edited scenes and good music score). But I am not comfortable with the idea of a human being getting romantically involved with an OS.

And I was disappointed of the formation of Theodore’s company where they make/ write letters for people. Come on. What happened to people in that world? A person would hire somebody to express what they feel? I understand the possible reasons of doing that but it was plainly insincere for me. But I think this is already happening in the real world now.

I was also disgusted of the scene where Theodore tried to accept a surrogate (a human being who voluntarily agreed to act as a physical body of OS Samantha so they can play house for a moment and possibly be a solution to Samantha’s “I don’t have a body” insecurities). But yes, this also happens. I mean people in a relationship tend to do things that they don’t want to make the other person happy. A trap! For some, the act is sweet but to me doing things you don’t like to satisfy your partner is naive. This will only cause resentment.

With these “don’t likes” in the movie Her, the cast and team of Her elicited certain emotions in me. And I am pleased with movies that make me feel. Although I didn’t cry in this movie, I have a lot of realizations in the movie; realizations that I do hope can help me in my own relationships.

As my title directly said, my goal here is to really attach a letter that I love from the movie. Here goes:

“Theodore: Dear Catherine, I’ve been sitting here thinking about all the things I wanted to apologize to you for. All the pain we caused each other. Everything I put on you. Everything I needed you to be or needed you to say. I’m sorry for that. I’ll always love you ‘cause we grew up together and you helped make me who I am. I just wanted you to know there will be a piece of you in me always, and I’m grateful for that. Whatever someone you become, and wherever you are in the world, I’m sending you love. You’re my friend to the end. Love, Theodore.”

If you haven’t watched the movie, do so; then let’s talk about it. If you have, comment below your thoughts.

Kuroko no Basuke : Last Game Movie Review

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Photo searched through Google

Even though I know that I can find this online and download it eventually, I still pushed through on watching Kuroko No Basuke: The Last Game. Aside from the fact that I can’t wait to download this, I really enjoy the manga and anime that I have to give respects to the team who made this and at least pay for a movie ticket.

The movie has been playing in the cinemas for weeks now. Thus, it is not of a surprise that we’re only four during the screening. I would like to think that it’s better this way. At least real fans would be watching and I don’t have to deal with tactless people.

Every second was enjoyable. I managed to escape from my reality and enjoy. It might be very difficult for the writers to not to outshine Kagami and Kuroko with the other wonderful and highly skilled and gifted characters but Aomine and Kise really killed it! If you know the anime and manga and if you read the extra game in manga, you know what I mean.

I am very grateful to the Kuroko no Basuke team. You gave happiness through your work.

For endorphins!

Since January 2017, I felt depressed and stressed. Mainly due to my workmates’ uncomforting work ethics and my demand on myself to be excellent. I need the money from work so I can’t just quit anytime. Couple this with my disinterest in people. I am a yes person so this is definitely alarming.

I seem to be surviving but I reached my boiling point this May 2017. Now, I have the dillema to press my standards or just be forgiving and mediocre. It’s difficult to be kind when you’re already fed up. It’s also challenging to care when you try to be less involved so you won’t have to take things seriously. Lesser stress if you don’t get yourself involved right? Lesser bearing if you don’t value it that much right? That’s what I am to avoid: being indifferent at work.

But I’m more important to myself than the people at work. It’s better that I preserve my sanity than be concerned of their and the clinic’s welfare all the time. Accept them for their substandard work than be stressed. Turn the other cheek than be stressed. I don’t want to be like them– less than mediocre. Just thinking about them makes my cortisol level high.

Goodbye sweets, coffee and sleeping late. Hello to exercise.

I jogged for ten minutes. I almost blacked out. For endorphins!

Izakaya kikufuji nth time

Every other month, I eat at Izakaya Kikufuji in Little Tokyo at Chino Roces Avenue, Makati. It’s a good 15 minute walk from my work so it’s no real hustle. But if you’d be taking your car to the place, you might get stressed by the traffic towards the place and on where you’d be parking your car.

I haven’t really tried any Japanese restaurants except for those in the malls but I am greatly satisfied with the quality of sashimi in Izakaya Kikufuji. Thus, I keep on coming back.

This might be my 20th++++ time eating sashimi here and as always, I have been ordering the same thing:

1 Salmon Sashimi / Shake Sashimi

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At this moment, I ordered San Ten Mori a platter of sashimi (three kinds, three slices per kind). It costs 480Php. You can choose whatever sashimi you like. You can even instruct the staff to have nine slices of salmon sashimi for this platter. I had six slices of salmon sashimi and three slices of tuna sashimi. By the way, in Izakaya Kikufuji, the sashimi cuts are done very generously.

If you are to order anything in Izakaya Kikufuji, never forget to order salmon sashimi. I haven’t eaten in Japan so I cannot really compare the quality but so far, this is the best here in the Philippines. I do not put any condiments on the fish; I just eat the whole thing while my eyes are closed.

2 Gyu Kyushu / Beef Wagyu Cubes

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I only go to Izakaya Kikufuji for the salmon sashimi. But whenever I’m there, I also order Gyu Kyushi (125 Php/ stick). It’s like beef barbeque but with a lot of fat and is very very juicy. The problem with this is that it takes more than 10 minutes for this to arrive on your table. So if you are in a hurry or you eat fast, you need to be patient with this one.
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3 Spicy Shake Sashimi

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Spicy shake sashimi (380Php/ order) is best eaten on the same day you ordered it. Preferably eat this with rice also. Basically it’s just salmon sashimi cut in smaller pieces with mayonnaise, spices and tempura crunches.

 4 Tuna Sashimi

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I’m not a fan of tuna sashimi. I just ordered this to give contrast to the sashimi platter I had. You can skip this.

In terms of drinks, I haven’t really had any paid drinks in this establishment except for calamnsi juice (65Php/ glass). It’s not exceptional though. Izakaya Kikufuji offers complementary hot / warm tea and tap water. They also have take out boxes and service charge.

I haven’t tried eating here during lunch time. I normally arrive there past 18:00, before everybody else enters the restaurant. Better be there real early or have reservations.

GRADE: 7/10

Will I be a regular here? I already am.

Information on Izakaya Kikufuji:

Little Tokyo, Central Bus. Dist. Brgy., 2277 Chino Roces Ave, Makati, 1230 Metro Manila

Open everyday: 11:00 – 14:00 and 17:30 – 23:00