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Kuroko no Basuke : Last Game Movie Review

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Even though I know that I can find this online and download it eventually, I still pushed through on watching Kuroko No Basuke: The Last Game. Aside from the fact that I can’t wait to download this, I really enjoy the manga and anime that I have to give respects to the team who made this and at least pay for a movie ticket.

The movie has been playing in the cinemas for weeks now. Thus, it is not of a surprise that we’re only four during the screening. I would like to think that it’s better this way. At least real fans would be watching and I don’t have to deal with tactless people.

Every second was enjoyable. I managed to escape from my reality and enjoy. It might be very difficult for the writers to not to outshine Kagami and Kuroko with the other wonderful and highly skilled and gifted characters but Aomine and Kise really killed it! If you know the anime and manga and if you read the extra game in manga, you know what I mean.

I am very grateful to the Kuroko no Basuke team. You gave happiness through your work.

I hate my life

I hate my life right now.

Actually it’s more of that I hate the responsibilities that are pushed into my life because of our consequences. It seems I’m feeling this way because I have that sense of entitlement that I don’t deserve this and such. Bull.

I’m not enthusiastic of the Filipino culture wherein you have to take care of your parents. I love to. But I don’t want to feel responsible for their lifestyle. In my situation, it’s like I will not have a life until my parents’ are done.

It’s not a sin to be born into a poor family but when you stay poor even though you have the potential to live a better life, then that’s a very big problem. I will only blame myself.

I’m confused on what to do because I keep considering what my parents would feel. To me it’s black and white. But to a lot of people, I have to dwell into the grey areas as well. I want to help my family but I don’t want to feel that I am responsible of them. They are already adults. If they don’t want to help themselves, why do I get punish?

Why is it that I do my best to be financially stable but my family will find ways to keep me in debt? Why can’t they just live within their means? Why do they have to boast that they have money but it’s actually to my expense?

I have my goals and dreams too. I don’t want to be stuck here forever that I will resent my family for all the missed opportunities that I should have had.

I hate myself for writing this instead of studying for my future.

I lost it.

After procrastinating for almost my whole prep year, I lost it. I lost my interest in all the people except for my immediate family.

 

I have become the number one person in the passive – aggressive game. I would say yes but deep inside, I am dying. I’d be introducing ideas to bond but I’m hoping you’d say no. I’m becoming real crazy.

 

I hope I’d regain the interest in people. I hope to reintroduce myself into the world and not truly lose it. I hope I can be inspired again by people around me and not be disgusted by the world. I hope and I pray. But first, let me study.

I am drowning

This started two weeks ago.

I have to control my emotions all the time.

I have to make sure that I give the appropriate response.

But I am drowning.

Of all the imperfection in my life.

I just watched About Time but I can’t channel that positivity yet.

Oh how I want to.

But I’m just not capable right now.

I am drowning and I can’t share this to anyone.

It’s too negative.

It’s too insignificant to their lives.

I am drowning.

I hope I can be trusting again.

It has become very hard to keep it all inside.

I am drowning.

Him

You know when your mind makes fantasies and what ifs? And it occupies your mind for days, weeks, months, even years? It’s procrastination on my part but sometimes, when I think about it, maybe it’s one of my inner desires. Desires that might not even happen.

Anyway, for years I have been thinking on how I would feel if I meet my first boyfriend after four years. Different scenarios ran on my mind. I even lost count. The more I wait, the more exciting it gets.

I really learned a lot from that relationship and as far as I can remember, he was a sincere friend. Needless to say, I felt it was a valuable platonic and romantic relationship. My hopes for a wonderful first meet up fill my mind.

Last December 30, 2016, it finally happened. Ree and I met. We both attended a common friend’s wedding.

So, I saw him. I surveyed every part of his face. I looked long into his eyes. I listened to his words. IT’S STILL HIM! He’s still the same person I remembered. Of course, he gained muscle mass (or fats). He seemed more out going and extrovert. But it’s still him. It’s still the Ree I knew. But at the same time, he’s not THAT Ree. He was trying not to disclose his personal affairs. He even stuttered when I first addressed a question to him. He made it appear he’s not interested. I felt he was uncomfortable with me.

Before Dec 30, I believed I still love Ree (too honest!!!). But in all honesty as well, I did not feel a thing. I’m in awe that I was indifferent. So weird. So weird! Just imagine that I have been thinking about what I would feel for years and then it was an unsatisfying INDIFFERENCE!!!!

The real deal is my assessment on what I felt. I then realized: “I’m no longer in love. I don’t love any body anymore. I’m free!!!!” With such liberty, came sadness. I have always been saying that I want to have a husband, kids, and a family. With this realization, I really have to make time to find a person to love (and make family with, hehe).

But with the circumstances that I have right now, I have to focus hard. I would die if I don’t get my goals. Making damoves would have to wait for at least two years. I hope and pray to experience this magic again: to love and be loved. Not necessarily ¬†with the same person.

Then this morning: irony (and the reason I’m writing this entry). I dreamed about Ree. Very very nice dream. He invited me out before he went to Japan. He asked me if I still love him. I waited for him to say he still loves me. Then I said I still do. And then we hugged and he told me to wait for him to come back from Japan. Mind fuck.